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To Chose Or Excuse

One of the best things almost beingness diagnosed alongside ADD is that you lot finally direct maintain an explanation for many of the challenges you lot experience inwards life.
So this is why it's difficult for me to croak started in addition to follow through! This is why it's difficult for me to pay attending inwards meetings! This is why it's difficult for me to croak to bed on time!
We must live careful, though, because an explanation is non an excuse.
An excuse tin live defined every bit "a justification used to obtain forgiveness." Excuses don't assistance us brand modify or let us to grow. They furnish us alongside a mode out. They furnish us alongside a argue non to improve our lives, in addition to they proceed us feeling disappointed, frustrated, in addition to unhappy.
And excuses direct maintain the same lawsuit on the people nosotros feed them to, similar spouses, bosses, in addition to friends.
When you lot brand a choice, you lot "select from a divulge of possible alternatives; you lot decide." Making choices allows us to accept control. We halt beingness victims of circumstance, in addition to foremost beingness responsible people.
When learning to contend your ADD, you lot must live willing to halt making excuses, in addition to foremost making choices.
Of course, learning to contend ADD is non simple. It takes time, patience, in addition to practice. Let's await at a practical example:
You direct maintain a doctor's appointment, in addition to you lot ordinarily croak inwards late. You brand the choice to modify this behavior.
You brand the choice to innovation your move time, it takes you lot xv minutes door to door. You brand the choice to piece of occupation out your domicile xv minutes earlier the appointment. However, when you lot croak inwards the car, you lot realize that you lot take away gas. You brand the choice to halt for gas, in addition to because of that you lot halt upward v minutes late. You're stressed out in addition to frantic because you lot actually tried to live at that spot on time.
At this point, you lot tin brand an excuse: I didn't realize the tank was in addition to thence depression because I didn't purpose the machine last! Or: I did the best I could in addition to thence it's non my mistake I'm late! Or: No thing how difficult I try, I merely can't croak places on time!
The alternative is to brand a choice to larn from this experience. I learned that I take away to let myself a trivial extra time, inwards instance something similar this comes up. Or: I learned that I create direct maintain the mightiness to contend my fourth dimension better, in addition to although I was yet late, I actually made an improvement.
Choices let you lot to motion forward. Excuses volition proceed you lot stuck inwards the same place.
Make the choice to growth your self-awareness.
Make the choice to explicate your actions, rather than excuse them.
Make the choice to psyche to the people who furnish loving feedback.
Make the choice to notice support.
Make the choice to accept action.
Make the choice to admit success.
Make the choice to motion forward.
by: ADD Coach Jennifer Koretsky
Jennifer Koretsky is a Professional ADD Management Coach who helps adults contend their ADD in addition to motion forwards inwards life. She is the Leader of Experience ADDvantages, a pop online membership community that offers information, support, in addition to coaching for adults alongside ADD. To larn to a greater extent than almost Experience ADDvantages, delight watch


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